And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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