i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
