I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize