there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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