I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
