I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
