This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
