airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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