U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
