CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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