Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
