I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize