I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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