why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
