I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize