She is in my trunk
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
