Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
