If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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