You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
