Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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