i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize