the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
