she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
