Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I don't think brook has ever known best
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
