She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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