I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
