When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Randomize
