uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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