I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
