I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
