I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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