It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
