Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
