I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
