If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
