She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
