does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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