ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Randomize