you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
