Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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