How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
