508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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