Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
