No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
