Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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