So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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