when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
