Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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