One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
