I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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