Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
