She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
