somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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