My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
