Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
