Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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