party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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