Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
