"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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