He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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