I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
