i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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