He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
