i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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