I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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