I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize