hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
