Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
