i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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