its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
