Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
