What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
