This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
