how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
