Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
