I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize