This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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